Maho Beach hotel sports bathroom tiles with the name of my best friend. I took a picture. Unfortunately, I will now have to spot tiles with the names of my other best friends as well, which will be pretty difficult unless I start some kind of manufactory. Highly unlikely.
So, my boyfriend tells me nothing beats Microsoft. The first thing I do is try to find something in spite of that, what did you think? It was not before too long, struck by inspiration, I have found it! It’s Google! You don’t believe it? Go
Googlefight and see for yourself. Try the classics, see if the good always win and all that. Oh, one more thing. My name beats my boyfriend’s 127,000 to 112,000. Oops, that might have been below the belt.
LATER edit: It’s my boyfriend that’s pointed
Googlefight for me, and I wanted to share it. I now realize that my particular way doesn’t give the appropriate credit. Sorry. Anyway, and this no secret, at least I am honest about being misleading :)
Being in the conference was the best sun block, it actually renders use of regular skin care products optional.
I deemed her dangerously good looking despite her appearance, sensual lips but slightly oversized hips, after she arranged a backpack in the over head compartment that later fell on the head of a poor unsuspecting Air France customer. The backpack was only moderately large so the guy could not press charges.
Air France sucks. They printed on my boarding pass information about the new terminal, how it takes 45 minutes to get there and how I was invited to the lounge. When I got there I found it was for business class only. And I thought they were inviting me for my earned miles. They’d better buy a computer programme to print the information selectively on business boarding cards, and I’d better take a picture of the boarding card next time.
On Charles de Gaulle I could actually read the worried looks on the faces of fellow passengers. They gave us the complete tour of the airport on the way to the new terminal, and it was indeed 45 minutes I might add.
Once air born to the island I was seated on the right side of the plane, in order to see
this magnificent view complete with l’Arc de Triomphe and La Tour Eiffel. It all faded the moment I accidentally buried my face in the Air France blankie (who died in this blanket?!?). The jerk next to me moved one seat away, so I could actually spy on all the other hunks on the flight. A few words about the in-flight movie: does Queen Latifah actually die
here? I doubt it. And I don’t really need to know, since I supposed a happy end was becoming of this lame light light comedy.
I was sitting on my balcony admiring the view, when it started raining. Raining is by far common on the island, but in this particular case I was witnessing it only on the left hand side of my balcony. The right hand side was rain free, but somehow dump. There was also sun in the sky.
I am having coffee with a view at the ocean. It’s just me. And some jet legged guy roaming sleeplessly and pointlessly in the garden. And the hotel guard. Very cozy.
My patience through out the conference and my excellent presentation were rewarded by divine retribution when I finally hit the waters of the Caribbean. Somebody on the beach found me a pair of shades in the sand of the beach and left it with my stuff. The only bad thing is now, that I am an “activist” supposedly expected to write serious stuff for the “all those people” (you know, *wink), I cannot write how, instead of leaving them with the front desk, I soap washed the sunglasses and wore them in the shower where, one thing led to another, I masturbated. It felt pretty good, so I decided to classify them at tourist casualties and keep them.
When instruction reads “Tear carefully” it means they don’t want you to actually see the coffee in the sealed coffee filter. Too late! Now, if you see the coffee, at least don’t add tissue in the coffee maker. Makes coffee taste like chemicals. but I loved having this thing in my room, complete with coffee and sugar supplies.
If you are jet legged and slightly recovering, it is likely you will wake up once the power surge occurs at four in the night with a big crash noise and deafening silence after. All the better for preparing my conference presentation.
One of the nights we were off to the French side of the island, where we had a ridiculously priced meal. Ridiculously expensive that is. And designer small. But the company and the ambiance was super. I should stop drawing comparisons between my monthly rent and the price of a meal. You already know I am a deluxe hobo. My rent and amenities due for the past two months could have covered for the money I paid dinner with last night and the night before. Last night in particular. Call me a cheap bastard, but I think fifty bucks a person is way too much, even by the standards of the fancy fish restaurant by the sea in the French side. By the way, I had beef.
Then I must be about the only person who would steal a decor-pineapple at the welcome reception and then, later, getting a craving and eat it at one in the night after a hot session of taking pictures. I guess the tiny French servings finally caught up with me.
Being for the first time on the island, I brought some Romanian wine to serve as ambassadors, only to learn our Romanian dancers have been here first. Makes me sad.
LATER edit: I learn from Vava that it is LA TOUR, not Le Tour, as I would’ve expected and being the Romanian speaker that I am. Lesson learnt. I should really brush up my French.
I am back and my body hurts and every single cell is fighting the time zone difference. More news soon.
Driving to the other end of the world, unprepared as usual.
I have turned 32 and I was driving. Monica jumped next to me in her seat saying wow and yayee. We have almost car crashed. At the same instant an sms from
somebody else who wanted to be the first.
So I have arrived, and, the curse of parking caught up with me. No parking spots nowhere near my block. About 15 minutes later, around the block, yeah, the American block this time round! I was returning to the car to retrieve the home keys from the glove compartment. It pays to be well dressed at such late hours. You cannot afford to enter an argument with the BGS guy. Nor to offer a light to dumpster guy, because you don’t smoke, not because he’s from a different social stratum. All of which actually happened to me after midnight.
One can only imagine my good spirits finally arriving home. On top of that I was also hungry. So here! I am celebrating my birthday with corn flakes, flavour and fiber! and peach jam that smells like camembert and dietetic beer. No, it’s not Maisel’s Weisser, but from the same family, Edelhopfen. Still unpronounceable. T forgot to buy more bread once he finished the existing one, as he also forgot to let me know he finished the existing one.
The day has been thoroughly rewarding. I hope you can read the sarcasm through it all. I have been to a meeting where my interlocutor was not at all interested to hear about my expertise (I did not request this meeting!). I ate standing in public, all dressed up, which I hate. I formatted tables, to learn that task is not needed anymore. My pictures have been deemed unsuitable.When I have allegedly missed to send a table, it was actually revealed that the table was there, but nevertheless I was dismissed with “yes, but it is still incomplete”. Of course it is incomplete! you have been tampering with the text in the meanwhile. And it culminated when I had to re-write a 100 words paragraph. My boss’s been known for being able to take her time for three hours and more to give the finishing polish and choose the exact words. Sometimes even, the exact words can be the exact same words. That, of course, comes after multiple changes ;;)
So I have decided to take on Vava’s suggestion for an easy office life. The office supply list must include 20 condoms per person and about the same number of anti-blow job pills. This way, no more fuck-ups and no more being screwed. I was considering a professional stapler machine.
On the bright side, I hope we shall reach 10,000 hits on my counter. It has not been around from day one, but nevertheless I would be a nice birthday present.
On second though, I’ll be turning 32 at 7 am.
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