Creative therapies
Letting myself go. Not eating right. Not eating. Not going out, unless I have to. I usually don’t have to. Not buying stuff to drink. Drinking. Resorting to others to bring me stuff to drink. Drinking almost every night. Drinking with a constant moderation that makes me wonder if I am an alcoholic. Resenting phone conversation. Resenting making calls. Resenting making just about anything. Considering clipping my toe nails a big breakthrough. Smiling and joking when others try tackle my problems. Napping mid day, I know I will miss these ones. Letting things pile up. Piling up things. Not seeing a point. Reading a little. Reading too little. All that fat. Cleaning the house, never quite getting the job done. Avoiding the fridge, avoiding the owen. Setting modest goals for the day. Failing at them the first times. Like planning to pick up the dry cleaning. Lingering in the supermarket isle without being able to spot the right foil. Leaving without it. Avoiding anything that would actually remind me of you. Following you on Twitter. Admitting I am damaged. Generally floating. I have no idea where this current will take me and whatever I can do won’t change much… this much was saved…
Interesting how two people who never met (not even knowing each other’s names) can have the same experiences simultaneously. This invites me to some serious projective introspection!