(But) I HAVE a life
Sit at your desk, leave last, because it’s a barricade and “that’s a holy war we’re fighting” (don’t go to the toilet if you don’t really have to; that means less than twice a day).
Arrive home, pet the dogs briefly, eat hastily, fall asleep. Wake up, worry the dogs have not sh!tted. Walk the dogs. Enjoy the park at frozen snowed 1 am.
Occasionally fall asleep during private calls in the comfort of your home when it’s not that late (considered to be fun and funny by the other party only the first time).
Plan to have cake you flew with courtesy of your mom, but not have it, because you keep forgetting. Plan to box cake, have it with your (black-eyed) friends next door, but don’t because you… fall asleep!
Plan to fix a thousand things that stare you in the face, they are little like having a haircut, or big like having your dishwasher fixed. But not, because during the little spare time you have left, you prefer to sleep in a little longer.
Finally, use a taxi, because you simply cannot afford the public transportation hustle, and taking 15 to 30 minutes for finding a parking place after drivingĀ 15 to 30 minutes simply does not add up, and you would feel like having a fit.
Postpone visits to the doctor, because you simply do not have the time to be sick. Talk about “life and work balance”, but simply know it’s corporate BS.
Other than those, look good, look smart, be smart, smile in a tired fashion, accept professional compliments and challenges alike, and go by “super” plus your first name.
