Friend or foe?
I have yet to tell you I cannot meet the girl you want to introduce to me, but interestingly you mentioned to me how the group penalizes everyone not abiding by the norm. “As you well know”, you added.
I have yet to tell you I cannot meet the girl you want to introduce to me, but interestingly you mentioned to me how the group penalizes everyone not abiding by the norm. “As you well know”, you added.
And that would be including “gay” in your nickname, but then you’d indicate you’re bisexual further in your profile.
Can anybody explain how a bottom can be a stud? Or even better you can explain it directly to the guy using the oxymoron in his profile: “Hey! im a 23 years old bottom stud… if u wanna know me text me here…”
LATER EDIT: this reminds me of the guys well over their 30s and whose nicks contain “boy”… WTF?!
Quite unbelievably, this was just yesterday.
I have decided to write a post about this, since there was a comment-question during the discussion here.
I don’t dislike bisexuals. And I don’t like them either. Likewise with the other socio professional groups, I like some gay, I like some heterosexuals, and even like some bi people. But when talking about my dating preference, well, I prefer my men to be gay. I have my reasons, quite subjective, after all this is a matter of opinion. When we choose our partner we all discriminate the whole world against him or her. So there, this discrimination is OK. I would be quite concerned for the mental well being of anybody who would tell me they are open to just anybody. Nobody can be willing to do anybody, wouldn’t you agree?
Which sort of brings me to my rather subjective preference for gays gay men rather then bisexuals partners. I am not saying bisexuals would do anybody irrespective of their sex, I am just saying they might be a bit “closer” to that situation than your average gay Joe. If I were dating a bisexual, he would be able to choose between me, other men and other women he likes. And I resent this kind of possibility of competition.
I also prefere to date guys who are out or at least clearly comfortable with what who they are. Let me put it this way: I know few gay people that are out, and I do not know of any bisexual that is out. Mostly because bisexuals don’t have to be “out” if they are not partnered to a partner of the same sex. Heck, this is the reason why I said I was being bisexual way back when I was just beginning to make my coming out: it seemed easier to me to digest myself as being bisexual, than being gay. When I was saying I was bisexual I was also programming the others to say “He is only wrong sometimes”. Time has passed, I have learned to accommodate myself with myself first, and I have learned there is nothing wrong with being gay. Nor with being bisexual for that matter. Nor with any of the other sexual identities one might have. As long as I am ready to socialize with anybody irrespective of their gender, race, sexual identity, age etc. I can safely discriminate in my bed, to my own liking. But that is not anybody’s business but my own.
Arrogant I am not. Maybe sometimes bitter. But I am not humble, nor modest. So, there, let me sketch this gay dating site episode for your reading pleasure.
I am a refreshed e-version of myself. The older version of my profile prompted a twenty year old, quite smart, but not so broken into the rules of the World, to say “You are so dry and airtight”. Which, you have to admit it, is sparkling, although not necessarily funny to all readers. In that case the reader was me, and I found it amusing. I guess the state of one’s spirit is important when decripting messages addressed to that one particular individual. Am I right?
The new version of my profile is more cryptic, stating in two lists and one paragraph the things I like, the things I dislike and the things I find funny on this gay dating site. Among them the tendency of certain users to post pictures of what I call Sleepy Hollow types and the proliferation of profiles named by me “beauty stuck in time”. The first thing refers to the pictures you must be all too familiar: discreet guys who give us glimpses of their bodies: head/face is out of the frame, blurred, stricken or somehow obliterated in one way or another, by the clever use of Photoshop, or other more naive or more professional techniques. The beauty stuck in time is a type of profile I have known and observed for more or less five years since I have the account. I know, I am an online antropologist. These guys are still 20, 26 or thirty. Years old. I mean they have managed to find a secret that eludes the rest of us and they keep young, sexy and constant in age. That, or there is something wrong with their settings. Finally, among the things I list as dislikes, the bisexuals. OK. Remeber! this is all about my personal profile on a, let me underline that, dating site. (Maybe I should add “blind dates, blind dating” on my no-list.)
Now, about him. He is a guy in his forties, no pictures, virtually no information in his profile, other than his age, orientation (bisexual), top acting in search for a submissive and reliable bottom.
His first unsolicited message to me read “what an arrogant guy type of profile you’ve got… mind you… the universe does not start measuring its unfolding from you. Not space-wise, nor time-wise.
His second unsolicited message to me read “you’re too full of yourself, maestro
… and remember the king is naked” (here I had assumed he was talking about the emperor’s new clothes.)
Enter cue my rather lengthy and polite reply inviting to world peace and mutual ignorance of each other.
His third message to me read “you are so counterfeit”
Can you guess what followed?
So what do you do? You are an adult Caucasian gay traveling when you observe an attractively tanned guy with little white spider on his shoulder within your arm reach on the airport bus, so there are people.
This is too cool not to watch - homophobes are literally caught pants down on this experiment.