I am not harsh
I know what I want from you and it annoys me when it turns out you don’t.
Entries Tagged as 'rantrantrant'
Ways to start a morning
Remake coffee, because the first time you did it the filter slid and you ended with a transparent liquid vaguely similar to tea.
Or vacuum clean the inside of the dog bed. From the floor. From all over the floor. Of your house. Even in your ass.
Once these steps are completed you can attend to other people’s needs. Such as your boss’.
(But) I HAVE a life
Sit at your desk, leave last, because it’s a barricade and “that’s a holy war we’re fighting” (don’t go to the toilet if you don’t really have to; that means less than twice a day).
Arrive home, pet the dogs briefly, eat hastily, fall asleep. Wake up, worry the dogs have not sh!tted. Walk the dogs. Enjoy the park at frozen snowed 1 am.
Occasionally fall asleep during private calls in the comfort of your home when it’s not that late (considered to be fun and funny by the other party only the first time).
Plan to have cake you flew with courtesy of your mom, but not have it, because you keep forgetting. Plan to box cake, have it with your (black-eyed) friends next door, but don’t because you… fall asleep!
Plan to fix a thousand things that stare you in the face, they are little like having a haircut, or big like having your dishwasher fixed. But not, because during the little spare time you have left, you prefer to sleep in a little longer.
Finally, use a taxi, because you simply cannot afford the public transportation hustle, and taking 15 to 30 minutes for finding a parking place after driving 15 to 30 minutes simply does not add up, and you would feel like having a fit.
Postpone visits to the doctor, because you simply do not have the time to be sick. Talk about “life and work balance”, but simply know it’s corporate BS.
Other than those, look good, look smart, be smart, smile in a tired fashion, accept professional compliments and challenges alike, and go by “super” plus your first name.
Even if you don’t plan to shake (hands) on it
People, start washing your hands, when you’re done with your toilet business. Man, you’re gross. Modern apes! Thinking your dick is the cleanest, the best thing… is the epitome of self-centered consumer culture that will lead to human destruction. Flash news, I don’t want anything to do with your dick.
Introduction, bitch!
When you ask me to add an introductory paragraph, because “this is how we aim to write”, and then you revert asking to cut what was my opening text, because it pretty much repeats what’s being said in the now new opening, it’s passive aggressiveness, bitch. Get a life, I don’t have a problem redrafting, just say so.
Telecom
I am annoyed not with the ring of my phone, but with my phone ringing.
Insert a puzzled look or heavy swearing, I can’t decide
I have been recommended Sedatif PC by Lab Boiron. By a pharmacist I have never met, following a brief exchange of messages after another long pause in an otherwise platonic and lengthy online “relationship” (”conversation”?). I don’t know if I should be amused, amazed or outraged.
I might as well be in denial, but I am not medicating over the counter. That is if I have a choice.
Of, the tricks of unsolicited advice!
Utopia
I know, and accept! we cannot eradicate stupidity. But can we please make it illegal?
Only in your headphones
Is it still music if I have my headphones on, but can hear what you are playing on your own set of headphones?
Spoiler Alert
I recommend the movie, I don’t recommend Baneasa Drive-in Cinema. Some idiot has had the marvelous idea of opening an outdoor club in front of the mall. The bass dubbed music could be heard in the cinema while watching the movie. And this is no quiet movie. But listening to some Happy Birthday song after watching a blood bath on the screen is not funny, just weird.
Genius dialoque took place between the two Ns, as follows.
Him: How has the war ended?
Her: At the cinema.
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(C)
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