Entries Tagged as 'ROFL'

Supplementary endowment

So there I was, left with the laundry I had not … initiated. If it were by me, the dirty laundry business would have not been started at all that day. But I digress. So there I was, ranting about all these t-shirts one should wash inside out and about all these socks some men just place in the washing machine like an all together unwashable bud. Everybody knows these are the basic rules of washing. And everybody who knows them respects them. So how come some boyfriends chose to ignore them? Again? But I digress. Remember these gay designer briefs with white round dots increasing in size from the waste as they descend to, well, down there? And remember my point about how these briefs are designed to make your dick look bigger? And remember how you said “Really? I doesn’t look any bigger to me”? “I was totally unaware”, you said.

There I was, laughing. At a closer look not only these briefs had small plastic fake black diamonds on them! they also had a cup, a pouch, very much like a push up bra. Why? Oh, why? trust me, your dick is large enough.

My made day

A friend sent me a message I have opened first thing this morning. This part made me laugh so hard: “We’re on the beach. A bad day starts when I have to put on socks or underwear.

Later edit: No, a bad day starts when you get rejected by a junior who was supposed to strictly forward your CV. With the words “Unfortunately, my boss has reached the same conclusion like I had”. F you.

Absolutely unbelievable!

So what do you do if you get a bug in your computer? IN not ON. A real live stock bug, not a Trojan or other equally nasty e-stuff.

It happens in Romania, somewhere in the Land of Dracula. A bug got inside my boyfreind’s laptop through the USB port. The initial mortification of my better half was quickly followed by frustration and hatred. After a couple years of peaceful cohabitation in his cockroach infested apartment, this has been it. Eternal wrath is to be unleashed, my boyfriend swears. Especially since he was under some pressing deadlines of working online. But cockroach still inside the laptop remains switched off for fear of frying the motherboard.

A trip to the local service is being planned, as we speak.

I confess I have been occasionally rofling during our phone conversation. I even suggested using the blow drier or the ancient “smoke them out” technique.

Thorough indeed

“Thank you, Professor, for your dense analysis !”

Every now and then these false friends play a trick or two on them international conference goers.

Platonic dialogues of my own (he called me a salmon!)

Me: “So. How come you love me? I’m fat, I’m bald, I’m a terrible f*ck…”

Him: “That’s why bears like salmon. You fit all the criteria”

dsc00074.JPG

We interrupt this broadcast

My dog, she is eight, she snores!

I suck, you suck, he/she sucks

From the collection of famous quotes , I give you today an oxymoron that is undoubtedly set to make history.

After a blow job: “Tell me, do I suck OK?”

Rofling

After receiving spam that “misses” me, I have found out today that a certain Marcelle Ndo needs my assistant. … !?

Honey, it’s been a couple of months since I don’t have an assistant.

Am I just being mean here? Because, you see, Ms.(?) Ndo comes from Benin Republic…

Spermcount


What better time to count your eggs, than Easter? If there is none, call your gay brother and not only drop them on him, but also do incidentally mention the possibility of him becoming the gay donor uncle for your child . Do altogether skip repeating the test, fertility treatment, adoption etc.

I am the first!


…if you are looking for Romanian national dog